Our House is a frank, insightful documentary about what it means to grow up with gay or lesbian parents. The film has been shown on public television stations and at film festivals around the country. Ms. Spadola, the daughter of a lesbian mom, says that while growing up in a small town in Maine, “I thought I was the only kid with a gay parent and for years I was too afraid to be out about my mom. I wanted to make a documentary that presents realistic portraits of sons and daughters of gay and lesbian parents. In profiling a diverse range of families, I hope that viewers will see that our families are truly everywhere.” For more information about the film, visit the website collage.org/documentary/index.html.

Our House Film Tour

Filmmaker Meema Spadola visited four cities in upstate New York during May 2004 under the
auspices of the Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project. Screenings and discussions of her ground-
breaking film Our House: a very real documentary about kids of gay and lesbian parents were held in
Corning , Rochester , Syracuse and Binghamton . We received an excellent response to the film tour. There were 220 attendees across the state, with interesting and important discussions among the audience members at all four locations. We provided childcare at each event, which permitted parents to view the film and participate in the conversation afterwards (relatively) uninterrupted.

Meema Spadola is the daughter of a lesbian mom, who grew up thinking she was the only kid with a gay parent and for years was too afraid to be out about her mom. Her goal in making the film was to inform
viewers, particularly sons and daughters of gay and lesbian parents, that "our families are truly everywhere."

In the discussion after the film, Meema had a powerful message for LGBT parents: children with gay parents
benefit from being part of a supportive community of families like theirs; parents should create and maintain
an open environment in the family so that children feel they can talk to us about their concerns and questions; kids should feel they can tell us the bad news too (such as, "a classmate challenged me today about having two dads/moms")---kids will attempt to protect their parents from information that they fear may hurt their
parents' feelings; parents should create regular opportunities to discuss things openly with their kids (by viewing films, reading books, etc., that will start conversations)---this is not a conversation that can be had once with your child but must be had over and over at various stages in their development. Meema urges LGBT parents to resist the urge to represent our families and our children as perfect and problem-free, although it is tempting to do so in the face of homophobic scrutiny of our parenting. No family is without its own special challenges!

For people who missed the public screenings, we have a copy of the film to lend out (please call the office at
607-724-4308). By the way, Meema does not recommend the film for children younger than 10 or 11 (some of the subject matter is difficult to hear). For more information about the film, visit the website lage.org/documentary/ index.html.

We recognize and thank our local cosponsors of the film tour: Spectra, Corning Inc.'s resource group for GLBT
employees; Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley; ImageOut; Southern Tier AIDS Program; Temple Concord's
Outreach Committee; and Pride and Joy Families of Binghamton, Elmira/Corning, Syracuse and Rochester.

For more information about the film visit www.colage.org/documentary.

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